Friday, September 21, 2012

Sometimes you look to the sky and ask God, Why?

     The past day and a half have been a bit numb. There are times when you think you work hard and bust your ass to survive each and every day, then you got a text message while in class around 18:30pm, "Rick shot himself". I jump up from my seat and excuse myself from class and made a call. Rick is a 23 y/o Navy First Class Petty Officer(E-6), Nuclear Machinist Mate stationed onboard a Boomer. He is also a friend. When I meet younger shipmates, I tend to jump back into Senior mode and help them, I AM NOT RETIRED, I AM JUST AT A CIVILIAN COMMAND NOW!!!!!

     There are a group of us in the neighborhood who hang out and do things. He was the life of any party, hell during our 4th of July event at the pool, he was playing with NW and ND in the pool, they were all splashing and laughing. He also seemed to piss off a guy with his family by hitting him with a soft pool ball and this asshole said "Is this your ball", well Rick said "Yeah". So this Butt-Nugget, with all his might throws the ball into the retention pond behind the pool. Well Rick hops out the pool and goes and gets it. Well by the time this Butt-Nugget gets his family all ready to leave the pool and they start walking, Rick throws it over the fence and hits him in the back as he is walking back up to the pool. There were around 30 of us up there and we all start laughing. So Rick meets him at the gate on the way back into the pool deck and this guy says to him, "You need to "Control yourself". Rick starts laughing and says as he is walking away, "Somebody got a beer?"

     After making the call, I call JUGM and tell her and she starts screaming. I let her know that I will be leaving class early. I talk to the professor and explain to her what had happened. I had a Power-point to present to the class so she bumped me up to first. I worked on the PPT for 3 days, had 5 pages of note slides to go through my presentation and not once did I look at them nor do I even remember what I said during it. So after my presentation I leave.

    Once I get back into the community, and just short of our street, there are 6 Sheriff deputies and a Lead Investigator still there. There was also a bunch of fellow friends from the neighborhood and shipmates from his command there. My other close friend in the neighborhood, "T" was the one who went over and confirmed his suicide after Rick's girlfriend found him. I stopped and went to his house to make sure he was ok. After talking to him today, he is not doing good. I cant blame for him not feeling this way, I know it must have been a traumatic scene seeing a close friend in that condition.

    As I worked today, all I could do is look at the sky and ask why? Rick was always happy, fun to be around and just a great person. Dam-it!!! he was 23!!!!!! What drives people to do this? So many questions to ask with no answers. RIP my Friend.

June 13, 1989 - September 20, 2012

    

21 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Yea my friend, i lost a great friend who had a prosperous future ahead of him. What a shame

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  2. I just don't get it at all. He left a huge void in a lot of people. As a mother I can only imagine the pain his parents are feeling.
    My heart goes out to them, they have no answers in this. I pray for them. Whatever was going on with them, no problem in this world is that big that you feel what he did is the only alternative. Like "C" said : "A long term solution, to a short term problem"....

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    1. i am so sorry JUGM. i will pray for his family too. big hugs to you gurlie!

      your friend,
      kymber

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    2. you are so welcome hon...and i am always here if you need to vent or just talk or share. lots of love to you and Senior, eh, gurlie...it's gonna suck for the next little while. i have you and yours in my prayers.

      your friend,
      kymber

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  3. Sorry to hear about your friend.

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  4. I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend and pray that you all will find peace and understanding.

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    1. I will find piece and understanding, I just dont know when. Thank you for the prayers for his family.

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  5. I had a close friend that shot himself, he suffered from acute depression. I feel for you...remember the good times and keep his spirit alive.

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    1. Yes K, whenever I start to think of him, i look back to memories of the past and smile. Kind of makes it go away for awhile.

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  6. I am truly Sorry Senior. Way too many questions will go unanswered. My cousins husband did same a few years ago, too many unanswered questions still to this day. Why?? is the biggest.

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    1. You are right Bob, Why? I gues only two will know, him and God.

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  7. Senior, I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. May you be at peace in this time of sorrow.

    Steve

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    1. Steve, I am trying my best, went out today and tried to move on with my life. My boys and close group friends help.

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  8. i am so sorry Senior....and please pass on my sympathy to JUGM as well. it is very difficult to understand why someone would do something like this, especially if they always seemed to be the life of the party and just a fun guy to be around. i know that you are tough and have seen your fair share of stuff - you might never know the answers to your questions and i just hope that you learn to slowly accept. it will not be easy.

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Thank you Kymber, I will get through this.

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    2. i know that you will Senior. it's just going to suck. but remember, some of us have your back eh?

      your friend,
      kymber

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  9. Sorry to hear about your friend Senior.

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    1. Thanks pissed, I know your blog posts have given me some good laughs. Thanks

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